More Than This
by dstrider94
Summary: When Bro loses the only thing he has he seeks comfort in John. Slight John/Dave and Sadstuck in the beginning.
1. Chapter 1

- turntechGodhead [TG] began pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 04:13 –

TG: hey

TG: yo egbert

TG: john?

TG: i guess youre probably asleep like the rest of the world

TG: oh well

TG: a reply would be really nice right about now

TG: seriously man we need to talk

EB: what the hell man? it's the middle of the night.

EB: is everything ok?

TG: not really

TG: but theres something ive been meaning to tell you

TG: i love you john

EB: dave, what's wrong?

TG: goodbye.

EB: dave?

EB: DAVE?

EB: ANSWER ME RIGHT NOW GODDAMNIT.

- turntechGodhead [TG] ceased pestering ectoBiologist [EB] at 04:47 –

Your name is Dave Strider. You hate your life and everything in it. Except John. It's impossible to hate John. You hate yourself for hating everything. You especially hate what you about to put John through, but sometimes, you need to do stuff you really hate.

You walk down the hallway to the bathroom, being extra careful not to wake your Bro, although you don't see why. You hate him just like you hate everyone else. He has been nothing but a pain lately. He's been all worried about your health lately, and you honestly could not care less. Sure, you were always on the small side for your age, and skipping lunch daily probably wasn't the best idea, but that was your business.

What does any of that matter anyway? It doesn't, really.

There is a knife in the drawer under the sink. You had put it there a while back, in case you would ever it. You pick up the knife and run your finger along the blade and think to yourself how the knife would probably be sharp enough to kill somebody with. You pull up your shirt sleeves, revealing countless scars that were the result of that knife.


	2. Chapter 2

Be Dave's Bro.

It is barely five in the morning when you are suddenly awaken by some god awful screaming sound. You grab your shades and drag your lazy ass out of bed to see what the hell is going on.

"Dave?" You call out to your brother and get no reply. Shit, this can't be good…

You step into the hallway, afraid of what you might see. The bathroom door is cracked open, and light is flooding into the hall. You take a step toward the light, and for the first time in your life, you are truly afraid.

You knock on the door, partially out of fear and partially hoping to get some kind of smart-ass comment from Dave about his privacy or some shit. But there is no reply. Nothing. The entire apartment is strangely quiet. You push the door open and-WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?!

Your bro is lying on the floor in a puddle of blood. No. This cannot be happening. "DAVE!"

You reach down and put your hand on his shoulder. He doesn't move. He is still breathing though. Everything will be okay. It just has to be. Dave has to be okay. You go to pull out your phone and call 911, only to remember that you left it sitting at work yesterday. Dave's phone. Where the hell did Dave keep his phone?

After a few minutes of searching his room frantically, you remember that it is on the charger in the kitchen. You dial the numbers, your hands shaking like you haven't eaten in days. 9-1-1.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"My little brother- the bathroom- there's blood everywhere."

"Sir, if you could please keep calm and-"

"MY LITTLE BROTHER IS DYING DAMNIT OF COURSE I'M NOT GOING TO BE CALM!"

You flip the phone shut, disconnecting the call. They have all their GPS shit, so they can figure out where you are by tracing the call or something like that.


	3. Chapter 3

Be that Egbert kid.

You are now John Egbert. As mentioned before, your best friend is Dave Strider. You just heard that Dave is in the ER. You and your Dad are on your way to see him. The car ride is taking forever. And by forever, you mean that you have been in the car for almost ten minutes already, with another ten to go.

You pull out your phone and are about to text Dave, when it hits you. What if he doesn't make it? You might never get to talk to him again. That's what Bro told your Dad, anyway. Things were pretty bad. It had to be bad. Bro actually used a phone for once. He NEVER uses phones. Well, he does occasionally whip out the cell camera on the smuppets, but that's another story.

As your Dad pulls into the parking space at the hospital, you open the door and jump out, sprinting toward the front doors of the building. You only stop for a moment, when the automatic door is opening too slowly to run through.

The lady at the front desk looks at you over her glasses, like your existence seems to bother her for some reason. Bitch. Well whatever.

"I'm here to see Dave."

"Last name?"

"Strider. Dave Strider."

"Mhm, and you're of what relation?"

"Rel- oh, he's my… Dave and I are a couple. I'm his boyfriend."

"Is that so? Well I'm sorry sir, but only family visitors are allowed."

"Let the kid see Dave." The voice came from around the corner. Bro walked out into the waiting room. He lacked the ironic pointy shades that you had never seen him without. His eyes were bright red, probably from crying, you thought.

"Sir, as I just told 'the kid,' our policy is to only allow family."

"He's my second cousin then. Now just unlock the goddamn door?"

There was a clicking noise that sounded like a door, then a young woman appeared in the entryway.

"Mr. Strider? May I have a word with you?"

Bro left with the woman. The lady at the desk glared at you. You wanted to just bust through the door and see Dave's smile and know everything was going to be alright. You wanted to tell her how you really felt. But you didn't. Truth be told, you were afraid of that woman, and more importantly, you were scared for Dave.


	4. Chapter 4

Be Dave's Bro (again).

You still can't believe any of this. Now, not only is your little bro in the ER, but he has a boyfriend? He could have told you that. Surely Dave knew about your sexuality. You've taken guys home enough times that he had to have realized by now. You still liked girls, well, you liked Roxy anyway. But what's over is over. And what's it matter anyway? It doesn't.

"Mr. Strider?"

Oh yeah. That nurse wanted to talk to you.

"Mr. Strider, I regret to inform you of this, but Dave is…no longer with us."

"What-no. It just. I can't. WHY DIDN'T YOU SAVE HIM?"

"I'm very sorry. We did everyth-"

"YOU DID NOT! YOU JUST…I just…" You decide it's best to leave now.

You are on your way out when you see Egbert standing in the entryway. He looks at you, as if asking about Dave. You just shake your head and walk out.

Be John.

It hurt. It really hurt knowing you would never have your best friend back. But what was bothering you even more right now was the look of pain on Bro's face. Bro had always told you that he didn't have emotions, but you could clearly see now that he had been lying all along.

As he walks out the door, you decide to follow him. It probably wasn't the best idea, but he looked like he needed someone.

"Bro, wait up!"

You honestly don't know how you managed to speak through choking on tears, but somehow the words come out.

He doesn't stop, nor does he even acknowledge you. You run up behind him and cling to his arm. You are acting really childish today.

Bro stops walking and looks down at you. He puts his arm around your shoulder and it is strangely comforting.

"Well, it looks like it's just you and me now, kiddo…"


	5. Chapter 5

You are still John. You just asked your Dad if it was okay for you to go for a ride with Bro. Your Dad said that he did not mind, which actually comes as a bit of a surprise to you. Your Dad never really cared for the Striders.

You have to run to catch up to Bro. He didn't seem to find it necessary to wait for you.

He unlocks the truck and you both get in. It is awkwardly quiet. You do not want to be the first to speak, as it may bother him while he is driving.

You still can't believe Dave left you all alone. You can't believe that he left Bro alone. You honestly don't know if you can believe anything at this point.

You had loved Dave all along. Now you wish you would have just told him. You wonder if things could have been different. Why did he do it? You feel like this is all your fault.

"Listen, kid, this isn't anybody's fault, okay?"

How does he do that? You wonder for a second if Bro was reading your mind, but that would just be silly. People can't read other people's minds…

"Are you gonna be okay, John?"

He actually knew your name? Oh well, that is not important right now.

"Yeah, I will be…eventually…I hope…It's just hard, ya know? He's just always been there, and now he's…well, he's not there anymore."

"So were you actually dating my bro?"

"Well, no, I mean, I really did like him. I was just afraid to tell him. I guess he kinda felt the same about me, too. It was one of the last things he said to me. He told me he loved me, and then he was gone in a flash."

You decide to stop talking before your emotions completely take over. It was bad enough for your Dad to see you cry. Bro did not need to see that. You are not a little kid. You are an adult. Adults don't cry, at least not in front of other adults.

In the midst of your thinking, you hadn't really been paying much attention to where you were going, but you just noticed a dramatic change in scenery, and it was rather alarming.


	6. Chapter 6

Go back to being Bro.

You pause for a second at the stoplight and look over at John. The kid's been awful quiet these last few minutes. Wait. Is that? He looks like he's been crying. Poor kid. You are used to the whole feeling of emptiness; it's been the same way ever since you lost your parents so soon after Dave was born. And besides, you have no feelings anyway.

Ignore those last two sentences. They are stupid. You can't even remember why you thought those things.

John really wasn't a bad looking kid. (The fact that you keep calling him a kid is pretty stupid as well, you are pretty sure he is too old to be a kid anymore.) That is also not the point. Your mind seems to be wandering in very strange directions today. You wish you understood it, but at the same time you are annoyed by the fact that people actually waste time going to school to learn Psychology. Why would someone pay to learn about what is already happening inside his or her own mind? It's quite stupid.

Though you don't have feelings, you still have moods, and today's mood is the kind of mood where everything is stupid.

You really need to stop thinking these stupid thoughts now and think about John, you stupid prick! You laugh at yourself because you just said stupid twice in one sentence.

Your laughter is interrupted by a honking noise. Honking? Oh, right, you are driving. And the light is green. Well, that's news to you. You wonder how long you were sitting there before you realized this.

You probably should have bought a GPS for the trip. You really don't know where you are or where you are going, not that either of those things really matters anyway. Wherever you are is an unfamiliar area. You must be nearing the city limits; that would explain the lack of apartment buildings.

Be the other guy.

You are used to Bro acting kind of awkward around you, but this is getting ridiculous. He hasn't even been paying attention to the road, which is very unlike him. You think about trying to talk to him, but at the same time you wonder what he is thinking about. You don't want to interrupt his thinking.

You turn toward the window and wipe at your eyes. You are done crying for now, at least you really hope you are. You never liked crying. You don't even know why it bothers you so much.


	7. Chapter 7

Your name is Dave Strider. You are twelve years old. It is the first day of seventh grade. It is 4:13a.m. You haven't slept yet. You really do not want morning to come. You hate school. You hate the people you go to school with. You hate anything that involves leaving the apartment. It is a shitty-ass apartment, but it beats the outside world. You live in a world where refrigerators are for storing katanas and you can't look in a room without being stared down by smuppets.

Like most nights, you are laying awake in bed, thinking about whether life is worth living. Usually you can think of at least one good reason to be alive, but today you are drawing a blank. Your Bro hasn't been around much lately. Your best friend John has been talking to some girl lately and seems to have forgotten about you completely. You really like John. But you shouldn't. You are a boy, which means you are supposed to like girls, not other boys. You don't see why this is a problem, but people in school seem to have a big problem with it.

You wonder if John even cares at all. Does he care that you are hurting, that you have liked him all along? You wonder if it's irrational of you to have these feelings for someone at such a young age. Maybe you will be like your Bro and never be in a committed relationship. He dated a girl for a while, when you were really young, but you barely even remember her. Since then, it's always just been you, Bro and Cal.

You feel like you should tell someone how you've been feeling. You are trapped. You are slowly suffocating in your surroundings.

There is a knife in the bathroom. You have been thinking about that knife a lot lately. You kinda see it as an escape. It's your way out if things ever get too out of hand. You really hate that you think about these kinds of things, but you find it necessary.


	8. Chapter 8

Years in the future (But not many)…

You are being Bro.

You pull your truck into an empty lot. There isn't much around here aside from trees and a few piles of gravel. There is a house a couple blocks down, but you cannot see it through all the trees. That is the house you grew up in.

You don't really remember much about the house, aside from the lot. You used to walk down to the lot whenever you wanted to be alone. It was your mellow space. You would sit here for hours just thinking about nothing, and you always seemed to feel better afterwards.

This is the first time you ever showed anyone your lot. (It's not really yours. You don't know whose it is, but nobody seemed to care that you were there.)

"John. Hey man, you alright over there?"

"Alright? How am I supposed to be alright? My best friend is gone, and I'm lost in the middle of nowhere with you!"

You were not expecting that sort of response. You think it's best to just let him be for the moment.

"Listen, I'm getting some fresh air. You can join me, or you can sit here and sulk."

You get out of the truck and stand next to it for a few seconds. It appears John does not want to join you. Whatever. It's his loss, not yours.

You walk over to one of the gravel piles and sit on it. It isn't the most comfortable place to sit, but it's gravel. You weren't expecting comfort.

You sit and look out over the hillside, or at least as far out as you can see through the trees. The trees are kind of in the way, you think. But at the same time, it's almost like they are supposed to mean something. The trees are obstacles that one must overcome in life, and to see the sunset, you have to get past the trees.

Why are you thinking like that? You are not an English teacher. All this metaphorical thinking is rather stupid.

You wish you would have brought Dave to see your lot. He would have liked it. He probably would have found some weird way to write a rap about it. He used to rap about the weirdest things. Though they got annoying at times, you'd love to hear one of his raps right now.


	9. Chapter 9

Be John.

You continue sitting in Bro's truck. You are bored out of your mind, but you do not want to get out and see him. You sit and look out the window. You really miss Dave. You just want to go home and log onto Pesterchum, and talk to him like you would every other evening. It doesn't feel right watching the sunset through his Bro's clouded windshield.

You wonder if Bro wants you there, or if he sees you as an annoyance. He is probably annoyed with you. Why else would he have left you alone in his truck?

Bro: Contemplate meaning of life.

What? No, that is just silly. There are much more important things for you to be thinking about right now. There's Dave, but he is gone, so you should really try to get your mind off the subject. Then there's John. You like John. He's a pretty cool kid, as far as kids go anyway. Dave didn't really have many friends, but even so, John was probably your favorite one of Dave's friends.

You would never admit it, but you've always had a thing for younger guys. Okay, not 'guys', just John. His glasses and dorky smile just always seemed to get to you. You should not be thinking that way. You really need to get your mind out of the gutter. You are not gay. You are not even 'bi-curious'. This is just stupid. And besides, there's no way in hell he'd ever go for it, even if you did make the first move.


	10. Chapter 10

Continue being Bro.

You stare intently into the darkening sky. You wish you could just stop thinking about John for a minute. He obviously doesn't like you back. If he did, would he still be sitting alone in your truck? Probably not, but you would like to think otherwise. Maybe you should go see what he's up to. It's been a while. You seem to lose track of time easily when you are alone or upset.

You get up from the rock you have been sitting on for the past half-hour or so. You really don't know how long it has been. Probably longer than you thought, because when you first stand up, your feet are both half asleep. You walk over to the truck and look through the window for a second before getting in. John is staring out the front window and does not notice you. He jumps when you open the door. He's cute when he's spooked, or at least he was that time. You'll have to keep him around a while and test the theory.

"Hey kiddo, you holding up alright?"

"Yeah, I was just, you know, thinking about things."

"Like?"

"Well I don't know how to say it. I mean, I don't want to say something wrong or make things awkward, but I was thinking about you, Bro."

Score.


	11. Chapter 11

Be John.

Wait, what? Why the hell would you want to be that guy? Oh well, whatever.

Your name is John Egbert, and you have never been this embarrassed before in all of your life. You cannot believe how stupid you must look right now. You are sitting in a truck with your dead best friend's Bro, and the best thing you could think to say was that you were "thinking" about him? He probably thinks you are some hormonal teenage brat who will screw anything with a hole in it. You aren't like that. You really aren't.

What you really meant was that you were thinking about yourself and how you could use a mature companion in your life. Goddamnit. Why do you have to put yourself in these situations?

John: Abscond.

You cannot do that. You need to face up to your fears and explain to Bro what you really meant. You sit and contemplate things for a minute or two. In a way, you kind of liked the idea of screwing anything, as long as Mr. Strider was included, but at the same time, you don't know how you would behave around him, if he were to ever make a move on you.

You are in love with Bro. No wait. You are in love with the thought of loving him. That is about right. You have never truly loved anyone in that way before, and the thought of it bewilders you. You want to say something flirty, you know, show him that you mean business. At the same time, you don't know what to say. You run through a bunch of possibilities in your head, but they all sound the same: lame.

Besides, this is really not a good time to be hitting on him. You just lost someone close to you, and you can only imagine how he must feel.


	12. Chapter 12

You are still John. You do not know what to do with yourself. You are sitting in a car in the middle of nowhere with an attractive friend. (You hope that he considers you a friend, even though you had never really talked much before today.) Alone. Just the two of you. It is dark outside. You do not know what time it is, but it must be getting fairly late, for the sun does not set early on summer days in Texas.

You want to break the silence, but at the same time, you have way too much on your mind to risk accidentally saying something you'll end up regretting. You look over at Bro. To your surprise, he looks back at you and takes off his glasses. His eyes are bright crimson red, just like Dave's. You always had a thing for Dave's eyes, but you never got to tell him. He smiles at you for a second before breaking the silence himself.

"Hey kid. Whataya say we stay here for a lil while and look at the stars?"

"Sure. I mean. Yes. That's cool. Like, I'd like to sit with you."

Really? You cannot believe how stupid you must sound right now.

"Make yourself comfy. We can just chill here 'til you are ready to go home."

You do not want to go home. You do not want this to ever end.

Bro is probably a real good kisser, too. At his age, surely his experience if nothing else would make him amazingly good at everything. You can't help but want to just make out with him.

Be Bro.

Damn. Egbert is an adorable kid. But he's just that, a kid. You would feel weird making a move on someone who is so significantly younger than you, but at the same time you can't help but wonder if he is waiting for you to do just that. Or, maybe he is waiting for you to show a sign of weakness. Maybe he wants to dominate you. The thought of it is too sexy to get out of your mind.

Your name is Dirk. You are a strong adult, yet here you sit at the mercy of this teenage kid, just waiting for him to have his way with you.


	13. Chapter 13

Be John, because he is the more fun one at the moment.

You cannot begin to comprehend all of the thoughts running through your mind right now. You are sad, happy, depressed, excited, and at this point sexually frustrated, all at once! You were with Bro so he could comfort your emotions, yet now things are about to get physical. Well, you do not know that for sure, but you sure as hell hope that's right.

You slide over to the middle of the bench seat and lean on Bro's shoulder. He smells really damn good. He puts his arm around your shoulder. You look up at him. He does not see you, for he is concentrating on something outside, but he is smiling about something.

After all you've been through lately, you are happy for the moment. Every bad thought is gone. The only thing left on your mind is Bro. It feels good. It feels really good.

Be Dirk.

Egderp is leaning on you. Hah, you don't know why you never thought of his name that way before. It's pretty funny and kinda cute as well. He probably thinks you didn't notice him staring at you. If it were anyone else, you would have been creeped out by it, but this kid is just too cute to be considered even mildly creepy. You like John. You really do, but the thought of anything happening between the two of you is kind of weird. You are not sure how you feel about all of this.

You decide you need some time alone. Not at this specific moment, but at this time in general. There is too much going on for you to be trying to be close with anyone. You do not know how to tell John this. You feel bad for the kid, but things just aren't going to work, at least not right now.

You turn and look at John.

Enough of this shenanigans, just be John and make this happen!

Bro turns and looks at you, with the sexiest smile you think you've ever seen. Here is your chance.

You throw your arms around Bro and lean in and kiss him.


End file.
